You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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