"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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