you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize