I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
