I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
