I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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