I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
