let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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