She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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