you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
