garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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