i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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