Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
