I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
