theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
my poor anus
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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