hell yes lets make some ravioli
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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