I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize