Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
