Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
