I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
