My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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