You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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