Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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