I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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