Your tits are I can't wait for
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
