It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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