am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
i now understand why vodka
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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