When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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