the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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