i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize