the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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