Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
