I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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