you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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