Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i will never coherently bang her
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
