the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
