i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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