wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Randomize
