i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
