Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
