these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
