it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
everyone is single if you try hard enough
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
As shirtless as possible
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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