drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
