Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
