hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I smell like Dick and happiness
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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