Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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