She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize