I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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