Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
