I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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