oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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