i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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