I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
