Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
