Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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