Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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