Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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