I'm drive I can fine osifer
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
