Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
