there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
