I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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