i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
