I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
