My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
