my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
