a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
