Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I look excited, but its just a facade.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
