Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
